and she says ‘hey, how u doing?’

and I smile ‘fine’ into the phone

if she’d Skyped, I’d not have answered

cos then she would have known

that I am lying on the bedroom floor

a starfish on a rug

glass of wine, stinging eyes

desperate for a hug

that I worry I’m not coping

that I feel like throwing up 

that cannot keep up with my work

that I’m frightened when it’s night
I ask her how she’s doing

‘Oh,’ she says, ‘I’m fine

Fine, Holly McNish 

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