“A poem in translation,

the young man was fond of saying,

is like the dead body of a foreigner

washed up on our shores.”

Kevin Prufer, The Translator, in Paris Review Spring 2017

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You’re beautiful because you’re classically trained

I’m ugly because I associate piano wire with strangulation

You’re beautiful because you stop to read the cards in newsagents’ windows about lost cats and missing dogs

I’m ugly because of what I did to that jellyfish with a lolly stick and a big stone

– Simon Armitage, You’re Beautiful

Just a brilliant opening to an entertaining, honest and acccurate poem.